I’ve been toying with this piece for well over a year now. It seems that every time I tuck it away and decide not to finish it someone brings the topic back to the forefront. Sometimes it’s brought up by an acquaintance, sometimes it’s a friend-of-a-friend and sometimes it’s some random person whose conversation I over hear on the street. No matter how it comes up, I have the same reaction: DISGUST!
Every time I hear about women knowingly sleeping with married men I become disgusted. I’m disgusted by the arrogant S.O.B.s who think they deserve more than one woman. I’m even more disgusted by the women who allow themselves to be degraded in such a way. Women who knowingly sleep with married men are giving the men permission to disrespect them and treat them as second rate. Why would any woman subject herself to such treatment? Low self-esteem? Bad experiences? Yeah, whatever.
If a man will lie to and cheat on the woman he stood before God, his family and friends and pledged to love and honor for all of eternity, what makes you think he’d be decent to you, the other woman?
What kind of self-esteem must you have to even think you deserve to have the affection and attention of more than one woman?
Married men have approached me on more than one occasion. I’m always offended when it happens. One of the most disrespectful things a man can do to a woman is to ask her to be his “side piece” his “jump off,” his “Ho.” He may not use any of these labels but in reality it is what he’s implying. Obviously there are women out there who don’t mind being a sidepiece. These women don’t mind playing second fiddle. They don’t mind getting whatever scraps of time and attention a man can steal away from his wife (and children). I’ve heard all the excuses why women become involved with married men:
- “It just happened. I never meant to become involved with him.” Stop lying to yourself. Affairs don’t just happen. You chose to take part in the affair.
- “I dated him first.” So! You lost. He married the other chick. Move on!
- “He’s not happy with her.” Then make him man the f*ck up and properly remedy the situation before you become involved with him. He’s lying to you. He’s as happy as a pig in sh!+ because he’s doing her AND you too! Dummy!
- “He’s gonna leave her when the time is right.” Stupid, he is not going to leave her! Your best bet is that SHE will leave him and you’ll get him by default. That is if one of his other sidepieces doesn’t snatch him up first.
- “He is only with her because of the kids.” No, he just told you that because he thinks you’re stupid enough to believe it. But I guess you are because you repeated it to me. Idiot!
- “He doesn’t love her.” And he doesn’t respect you. That’s not a problem though because you obviously don’t respect yourself.
Maybe I am overly confident but I am not a woman who will accept being relegated to second-string status. I don’t carry myself like a sidechick, I don’t look like a sidechick and I refuse to be treated like a sidechick. I am worthy of being the #1 chick . . . the ONLY chick! If I can’t be the only chick, then I don’t want to play. I’m taking my ball and I’m going home!!
That brings me to the alleged #1 chicks who acknowledge and accept that other chicks exist but refuse to address the matter with their mates. You’re just as bad as the sidepieces. He doesn’t respect you any more than he respects the sidepiece. He lies to you and he cheats on you. The only “advantage” you have is that he introduces you to his family and friends (who all laugh behind your back because they know he lies to you all the time). Please, somebody tell me what’s the benefit here? And please don’t say that you take it for the kids. Kids aren’t stupid. They know how he treats you. Your daughters know that their mother has no self-respect. And guess what? They won’t have any either because you’re teaching them that it’s ok to not respect yourself. You’re teaching your sons that it’s ok to treat women this way. Hey, if that kind of treatment is ok for mama, then its ok for every other chick, right?
To the alleged #1 Chicks: Make him man up. Make him respect you. There is nothing he can buy you that is worth your dignity.
To the sidepieces: Please don’t confuse “Side Piece” with “Dime Piece.” Remember, you’re the one he keeps hidden. You’re the one who gets the leftovers (i.e., stolen moments at odd times, a few hours every other holiday, dinners at out of the way places, the cell number that he only answers when his wife isn’t around). Know your worth.
Whether you’re a woman cheating with someone else’s man or a man cheating on your woman, you need to know that karma is a bitch in pointy-toed boots. And when she comes for you, WATCH OUT!!