The Top 10 Pick Up Lines and the ONE that Actually Works

This is not the “top” ten you’re thinking about.  This is actually the bottom ten, the absolute worst pick up lines . . . EVER.  Unfortunately, all of these have been directed at me personally.  Most didn’t get responses.  Some provoked laughter of the “loud, country” variety.  You know, when your mouth is wide open and your head is thrown back as tears begin to stream down your face as you alternately holler and laugh.  Others rendered me speechless.  Imagine that!  Here are some of the “better” pick up lines I’ve heard:

10.  “Come here!”

(I’m sorry, even my father isn’t allowed to summon me this way.)

  1.  “Do you got good credit?”

(The grammar alone made me cringe.)

  1.  “I’ll give you $100 to have dinner with me.”

(So I’m a prostitute now?)

  1.  “You sexier than a muthaf&^ka!”

(Exactly how sexy IS a “muthaf&^ka?)

  1.  “Guhl, let me buy you a fish sandwich.”

                 (This one got the loud, country, laugh! Especially since I was walking through an airport when I heard it.)

  1.  “D@mn! You look like you got a good job, like you a secretary or something.”

(*** Blank Stare ***)

  1.  “You lookin’  young and healthy.”

(I didn’t get this one until one of my girlfriend said “Well, you see these old, sick looking chicks in here!)

  1.  (Staring at my breasts) “They sho’ll is pretty.” (briefly looking up at my face) “And you too.” (returning his attention to my breasts)


2.  “Let me get your number.  No?  Can I get a quarter?”

(This one got laughs too.)

  1. “You got a Twitter?”

(What am I, 15??)

Do men actually think this stuff works?  I certainly hope not.  I might be able to understand men saying these things if I were the type to walk around looking cheap and skanky.  But since I don’t, I am completely perplexed by my being a “lightening rod” for these comments.  What gives?  What prompts a man to even attempt a pickup line (of any kind)?  Does he know when he’s shot a brick or does he continue to use the line in hopes that it will work . . . eventually?

Oh, BTW, the ONE line that actually works:

“Hi.  My name is ___________.”

See how easy that is?

5 thoughts on “The Top 10 Pick Up Lines and the ONE that Actually Works

      • Good gracious! I’ve heard some gems, myself.

        “So, I’m sayin’…you got a man.”
        “Yes, I’m actually engaged.”
        “Doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, right?”

        Boy, please!

        “So, I’m sayin’, what you about?”
        What does this even mean?

        When I was a teenager, it was the worst. They would just grab your hand and try to sweet talk you but forget all forms of manners.


  1. Ha this is great, though those lines make me embarrassed to be a man.

    It’s often underestimated and misunderstood just how well a direct approach can work, in the right situation.

    – JMS


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