(Link Fixed) The People You Meet Series: #2

NOTE: I posted this earlier. I even went to the site, outside of the app, and confirmed that it posted. The link posted on Facebook but somehow it disappeared. I guess this is what happens when you’re dealing with sketchy wi-fi & SIM Cards while traveling between countries. From now on, I’ll try to only post when I have a solid signal. Thanks for your patience!!

During my time in Paris I met a young girl from New Jersey who lives in the Caribbean and is in Paris studying at Le Cordon Bleu. She’s traveled the world and was able to give me some great recommendations for places to go and great tips on how to do it inexpensively. She’s the type of young girl that, on some level, I wished I’d been.

I often tell people that I wish I’d traveled more when I was younger, when I was still poor and didn’t have all these lofty travel standards. When you’re a poor college student, or fresh out of college and still poor, you stay wherever you can afford even if it means that you and your best friend end up in some Days Inn in downtown Charlotte, NC that looks more like a roach motel than a hotel for humans. True Story. We arrived after working a ten hour day and driving half the night from Detroit (her) and Clevelend (where she picked me up). Why? She called me at work that Monday and said,

“Teena Marie is gonna be at the Tom Joyner Sky Show in Charlotte!!! Too bad we can’t go.”

Me: “Why can’t we?”

And off we went that Thursday afternoon. Our room was awful! We napped for three hours with the lights on for fear that critters would appear if we allowed the room to go dark. We awoke and took the fastest showers ever in the barely clean bathroom then raced out the door to get in line for the show. As long and tiring as the drive was, as bad as the room was, we didn’t really care because it was about the experience and not the accommodations.

I admire the fact that this young girl has had the courage to wander around the globe chasing her dreams. I don’t regret the path I’ve chosen. However, if I had it to do over, I’d do it just a little bit differently with a lot more travel.

The Dip Back

I was listening to the Tom Joyner Morning Show this morning and an interesting topic came up: Have You Ever ‘Dipped Back’ to an Old Relationship for a New Fling?”

The topic reminded me of a blog I wrote some years ago – “The Ghosts of Chrissy’s Past.” Virtually every one of my exes has come back at some point. All except the ONE I would actually take back. Sometimes they come back with the old “Hey, how’ve you been? Long time no hear. We should catch up sometime” and later work their way up to the point of contacting me. Other times they get right to the point,  “Hey, I was thinking about us and that we should give it another try.”

I’ve done it. I’ve dipped back a time or two. I’ve fallen for the banana in the tailpipe.  When I dipped back I found that it didn’t work for one of two reasons.  Either 1) he was the exact same person he was back then, which made us (still) incompatible or 2) he’d changed but so had I and the people we’d become were (also) incompatible. Either way, Le Partie Deux, needed to be cut short. Most of my friends who’ve dipped back have had similar experiences. Because of this I lean toward the thought that the successful ‘dip back’ is more likely the exception than the rule. So, I’ll stick to the conclusion of the old blog.  Check it out.  Enjoy!

 

You’re Perfect!  Wait for Me:  Ghosts of Chrissy’s Past (2007)

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the following statement:  “You’re perfect.  You’re smart, pretty, kind, ambitious, caring.  You’re just wonderful.  You’re exactly the kind of woman I want to marry . . . someday.” 

Starting way back in my Junior and Senior years in college I started hearing that speech or something very similar.  Later in my twenties, when I started to consider the possibility of marriage, I found the speech to be incredibly frustrating.  Here I was at a point in my life where I felt I was ready to consider marriage and I was being told by almost all the men I dated that I was exactly what they wanted . . . someday.

Huh?

Intellectually, I understood.  They simply weren’t ready.  And I’m not one to push anyone who isn’t ready.  I guess my problem with the statement is that they somehow seemed to think I’d wait for them.  That I’d want them 10 years down the line after they’d sewn their wild oats.

Well, it’s ten years later (for some of them).  These men are now 30 – 35 and guess what;  theeyyyyyy’rrrrreeeeee baaaaaccccccckkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!

Dudes from my past have been showing up like roaches in the projects.  They’re everywhere.  I guess they’ve sewn their wild oats and “someday” has finally arrived.  Lucky me?  Not so much.  I may have been willing to entertain the option of exploring a relationship after a number of years apart had they not given me “the speech.”  Having heard the speech it feels like I was placed on hold.  It’s like they said, “If nothing better comes along then I’ll go scoop up Chrissy.”  Doesn’t it just give you the warm fuzzies?  Nah, not so much.

So to all the fellas who put Chrissy on the back burner until someday, yeah, I’m still available.  But I’m not available to you.